we went to our first childbirth class tonight.
bottom line: the class terrified me. after showing us large laminated posters of female anatomy that brought us all back to 8th grade health class, the teacher answered our random questions and let us raise our random fears. (it's obvious to me so far that no one there has the slightest clue what we're about to get into, or what to expect.) once all of the basics of signs of labor had been outlined (complete with the acronym TACO to help us remember things we might need to tell our health care team if our "bags of waters" break), and we took a tour through the phases of labor (including the mother's likely emotional state in each stage), we watched a video. the video showed real-life people in the first two stages of labor - in other words, we made it all the way through to the point in the video where the real-life people give birth to real-life babies. they all looked miserable, but also like they had survived (interviews taken much later were included). i felt more and more panicked as the video went on. at one point, my eyes welled with tears and i thought to myself: i am not doing that. by the end, i felt sick to my stomach and i tried to remember if i had taken my Zofran today (the answer was yes). how can i get out of this? i looked over at Aaron and his face was beet red. a girl across the room asked "do you have any videos with people who decided to take the medication?" i started wondering if it was too late to *schedule* my c-section (rather than avoid one).
it will be extremely helpful to have all of this information in order to make some informed decisions about our birth "strategy" (that's what the teacher called it because she thinks it's more appropriate). i know, i get it, the more you intervene the more risks you take on. i know, i get it, the health care industry is totally in patriarchal conspiracy against me and all women. but even so, i have to say, in this particular moment i'm thinking natural childbirth is just not a good idea. i mean, there were lots of things that humans /had/ been doing for thousands of years, up until they had a choice, but is that reason enough for us to choose to do them that way now?
i promise to withhold my judgments on this until i get a little bit farther into the class. my teacher was pretty much mortified when i told her what i was thinking as we left the classroom. and i am nothing if not trying to impress the teacher.
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I do think women should be fully informed of their birth choices and I do think there are too many unnecessary interventions, but--anecdotally--I feel like women who have the most stress about labor have the most stressful labors. Kind of makes sense when you think about it.
ReplyDeleteKnow this: you have no idea what to expect. It could go any of 100 million ways. You will make the right decision in the moment. You are stronger than you think you are. You will be surrounded by the person you love most in the world and by professionals who will advise you wisely. There's no wrong way to have a baby, and you will--I assure you--have yourself a baby.
Take from the classes what you find useful, ignore the stuff that stresses you out. My sister had three fairly painless vaginal births because she knew she wanted an epidural and she made sure she got it as early as possible. I had two very painful but completely manageable non-medicated births because they were so quick. All my friends who went into labor--planned c-sections, emergency c-sections, medicated vaginal births, water births at home--now have babies. And you will to. In the end, the birth story is so secondary to: THE BABY.
So, bring it, Veronica.
Chrystie, I totally felt the way you did during childbirth class at first. I have to say that the reality of giving birth (for me at least) was nothing like what I'd read about or expected. I had a lot of hippie friends who seemed to be more obsessed with "the birth experience" than the baby, which may have colored my expectations. In the end, I was in so much pain that the whole thing is a blur. It went quickly (and felt quicker than the 10-hours that I was apparently in labor) and what I realized from the process is that you really don't need to think about much of anything while it's happening. Your body knows what to do and you'll know pretty certainly whether you want to be medicated or not. I think the key is, if your body is telling you it needs something, ask for it. Don't be stoic. And in the end, you have a baby.
ReplyDeleteIn addition to a childbirth class, I also took hypnobirthing, which I was really into and actually used during my pregnancy to deal with some really painful acid reflux. But my labor went from zero to 60 in a moment (it started when my water broke at home) so I didn't really have time to ease into a meditative state of mind. I laugh now when I think about how much I obsessed over the what-ifs of labor and delivery when there really was no point -- it was going to happen whether or not I was prepared and I just kind of had to go along for the ride. I think the key is just to know what you want to do if there are any sorts of complications.
I know it's hard to let go when you're the organized over-achiever type. I've found that the best thing I've gotten out of being a parent (other than Reed!) is that it's forced me to unwind and let go of a lot of expectations and control issues.
Don't let the classes scare you. Billions of women have done this before you.