why i'm getting married

i admit to having an intellectual critique of marriage as an institution. some of you have heard it before. it involves the problem i have of giving special treatment to people who hook up at the expense of those who don't and the problem of its being used to protect the status quo. if marriage were not treated as an overt tool for keeping people from their civil rights, i don't think i would ever feel the need to answer the question: why get married? but it is, and so i do. here goes.

since i've met aaron and we've become closer and started making decisions about our lives together, i developed a new desire to connect myself with my partner that is recognized. by everyone. there's an inexplicable force that pulls me towards formally and informally "connecting" or "joining" our couple, and for making that known. i want my community to see and acknowledge that we've have these intentions, and i want their support as we begin to make our way forward. ultimately, if we have children, i want our kids to understand that they come into an intentional family, and that that's inclusive of Aaron's family, mine, and our close friends. maybe this sounds like a big bride-zilla thing, but my community is so important to me that i can't imagine moving forward in my life with aaron without getting married.

in the end, it's really rather sappy: i love Aaron and i want to make a personal promise to him about my intentions to ensure our dreams and decisions are now connected, and that we move forward in our lives together. in short, i want you to be a witness to that.

i still have my squirmy days, granted, where I wonder if marriage is necessary, but i'm happy to report that they are more and more rare. mostly, now, it's just something that i need to do because it feels important and lovely and fitting. i still hope for a future where legal rights will be extended to all who choose to get married, and that human rights will be extended to everyone, regardless of their marital status.